i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
