Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
