check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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