Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
