when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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