My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
