No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Randomize
