WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
