If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
