My sheets look like a crime scene.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
