so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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