its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize