Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
