Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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