My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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