so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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