SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
