piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
