hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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