very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
