Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
