I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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