Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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