I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
