So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
