burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
