wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We left the knife in your bed.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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