Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
