She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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