Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Im part way to drunk.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
