he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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