I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
