in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
They have beer where we have blood.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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