i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
