FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
