the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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