I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
