So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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