yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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