got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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