So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
