i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
