So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
