apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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