I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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