He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
