I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You need Xanax blowdarts
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
