Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
In other news, I just burned my penis
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize