"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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