Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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