Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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