ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize