So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
