You can't special order awesome
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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