Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
