Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize