His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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