# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
