don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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