Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
you never un-have a 4some
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
