Pappa wants mamma naked
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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