when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize