scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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