Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
