are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Randomize
