Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
